Once upon a time when I was 15, I was given a brown paper package – inside was a lined hardback notebook. It was like a pebble starting an avalanche.

Slowly at first and then gaining momentum – I wrote and wrote and wrote. I was fascinated, like a small baby discovering they can move their hands in front of their face – with who I might be – what my life was about and the wonder that I could write about it all. I decided my life might as well be about joy – noticing the beauty around me, the quirky things my family and friends said…

I wrote, talked and read and eventually taught classes about journaling. Along the way I discovered a few basic ‘road rules’…

You can write anything you want to write – you can even write what you don’t want to write. A journal is a notebook for you to write/draw/express/ create/play/record/explore/celebrate/complain/be curious/be passionate/be silly/be honest/ learn…

The notebook it’s self: There are all kinds of notebooks on the market, many of these are so beautiful you may never write a word in them! Choose a notebook you can feel at home in. Pajamas rather than tuxedo/twinset & pearls. Unlined notebooks give you space to be playful – to write at all angles, write in different colours, doodle and draw. Though I wrote in lined notebooks for years, these days I write/draw/do poems/mind map etc in softcover blank Moleskine notebooks.

http://www.moleskine.com/catalogue/classic/soft/plain_soft_notebook__large.php

You can make your own, buy cheap school notebooks, try different formats, stick pictures on the covers: make it yours.

Landscape direction: Try turning your page in a landscape direction with the longest part of the notebook facing you – this helps you to step into your creativity. Your hand has longer on the page before ‘carriage return’ – ahem – the next line. I recommend ‘Your handwriting can change your life’ by Vimala Rogers.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/0684865416/integralhandw-20/ref=cm_sw_su_dp

You can write everyday and you can leave large eloquent silences between writing. Both are fine.

It helps to write the date, especially if you are interested in keeping track of when something was written.

You are free to write anything. Protect your privacy or burn pages you don’t want others to read. Give yourself permission to write about what is really going on for you. What is important for you? What are you passionate about?

You can relax about spelling and punctuation. Once again, a journal is like pajamas: comfortable and reassuring.

Keep your hand moving – this helps out distance the voice of the censor the voice that says: “argh, you can’t write that!What will people think” “Oh you did write that”..”Oh I see”…

Morning pages: years later, I still find writing for myself grounding, centering and useful. I often do ‘morning pages’, thanks to Julia Cameron and her book ‘The Artists Way’ – three pages of whatever is on top. This helps me to connect with what’s really going on for me and to find inspiration, clarity and my way forward.

http://www.amazon.com/Artists-Way-Spiritual-Creativity-Workbook/dp/0874776945

You are here: If you want to locate yourself on the map of your daily life, a simple mind map can be helpful in finding your own ‘you are here’. A circle with the title in the center of the page, with radiating spokes like branches, each with a word or phrase. you can mind map for a day, week – a period of time, or for a whole year. When I look at my mind map of last year, I can read at a glance the highlights and themes of the year.

As I write this I’m about to make a mind map of the year in review. Last year I wrote a new year ‘bucket list’ – what I want to do/create in my life before I die. Many of these have already come true for me in ways that are more wonderful than I could have imagined.

It’s been a great ‘avalanche’ from that first notebook…a place to practice joy, to celebrate the beauty in life, a place to ask for joy and a place to reflect on  joy…

Wishing you joy in your writing and creating!

Acts of kindness can make a difference in ways we may never know…

When I was 17 and traveling, an older woman who I had just met gave me a wonderful gift. She shared with me about a past relationship, celebrating how beautiful it was for her to love and be loved. I was moved by her trust in me and I still think of this, over 30 years later. As a young person piecing myself together, her kindness and trust held a mirror to me of who I could be.

Kindness is one of my favorite things, one of my highest values. When I choose to be kind and gentle I’m living my values; it’s like a muscle or a habit, the more I exercise being kind, the easier it is to be kind. I am not always kind; as a human being I need reminders; ‘please be kind’ on street signs! When I forget to be kind, my road map is to remind myself to be kind with myself as I come back ‘home’ to my values.

From 17 and piecing myself together, fast forward 20 years to a railway platform and a tearful woman is cradling an empty cage. She tells me she is going home to an empty house after having her elderly cat ‘put down’. We talk until the train arrives. The conductor jokes ‘lost your cat?’ and she turns away, wordless and hurting.

My son and I have a saying about people who appear brittle, angry, affronted: “maybe their cat died”. It’s a reminder to be kind even when we don’t understand the behavior; a reminder to be kind to ourselves. We are all tender human beings; we all have days when we feel as though our cat has died.

Nourishing everyday rituals. For many years I’ve started my day with my hand gently over my heart – saying ‘I love myself’. A year or so ago I added ‘Thank you’ when I put my feet on the floor.

What helps you to be kind? If you’re strongly visual, is there a favorite image that reminds you to be kind to yourself? If auditory, is music the key for you to be gentle with yourself? If you are tactile and kinaesthetic – soft fabrics and moisturisers can be affirming and nourishing ways to fill your kindness cup.

An everyday practical object can become a symbol of kindness; a nice hairbrush or soap, a key ring or piece of jewelery can all act as a symbolic reminders to be kind and loving to yourself.

Cultivating kindness is a fine art of many layers. A filo pastry of the heart. We start being kind with ourselves and we find we can be kinder to others. We start being kind to others and we come to know ourselves as kind and loving people.

Human Beings Ahead..Please Be Kind…As I write this I’m reminded – to drink a cup of kindness and to pass it on…

Years ago on a long drive together, my friend Lynne told me about plastic brain. Apparently the armed forces use ‘plastic brain’; step by step instructions on sheets of plastic for emergencies: if the plane is on fire here is what to do.

Plastic brain in everyday life

Knowing by heart or having your plastic brain list in a handy place is like having band aids in the cupboard – life tends to have bumpy bits. This list is what to do if smoke starts pouring out of you personal ‘plane’…

You can write this as a letter, note or card or make a list; ‘dear darling me, here’s what you need to do to get out of the smoking plane/get on an even keel/recover your sense of humor.’

Red flags, high visibility fencing and ‘The Barlows’

Knowing your own red flags and taking action can save time and energy; it’s worthwhile  setting up the safety net at the ‘top of the cliff’. How do you know if you are heading into unhealthy patterns or not meeting you own needs? What are the warning signs? What is the creepy music that starts playing in your head?

For me: tired, hungry, pushing myself, saying mean things to myself and martyrdom – will generally do the trick.

Some of my red flags are: internal grumbling sound track, no sense of humour and the urge to complain and blame. I still live in the same house with the same family and do the same work but the ‘Jaws’ theme is playing and it all feels like hard work.

Meet the Barlows: one of my husband’s creations, the Barlows are a kindly bunch of older men who patrol the top of my personal cliff. They put up orange high visibility plastic fencing and say things like: “Come away from there love. Now, would you like a cuppa?” (they have a ‘smoko’ shed).

Once I’ve stepped away from the edge I can start doing plastic brain – food, water, story, quiet…and later, review my recipe for a happy me.

Recipe for a happy you

Looking back at times when life was going really well for you, what were you doing that worked for you? These are the things to put on your plastic brain list and on your recipe for a happy you.

Going to the gym? Picking flowers? Playing the ukulele? What helps you be happy, fulfilled and enjoying your life? You can write a long long list and keep adding to it – a collage of images works well too.

Looking over this list (or collage) regularly, if you are missing out on doing the things that make you feel good – you can bring these back in to your life, even in small ways. You may not be able to have a massage right now, but you can find ways to nurture yourself. Massage hand cream into your hands (they do so much work for us) or feet..

My recipe includes: space and time on my own, exercise and being out in nature, connecting with people I love, contributing in the community, learning new things..

When I bring these into my everyday life, I feel good in myself. It’s the same life (lovely home, brilliant husband, great children, inspiring work), now everything in it feels right and good.

*What are your ‘red flags’?

*What is your ‘plastic brain’ for bringing yourself back to balance?

*What is your recipe for a happy you?

Compassionate Creative Coaching

Life coaching supports positive self care in ways that are gentle, practical and encouraging. Coaching with someone who champions and encourages your flourishing is a nourishing gift to yourself.

If you are interested in having a chat about life coaching or would like to benefit from a free introductory session, please contact me; I’d love to hear from you.

Sue Matthew    sue@flourishing.net.nz

Creating Space for Laughter by Sue Matthew – Life Coach

“Clear your clutter with Feng Shui” by Karen Kingston – is a brilliant book on clutter clearing. Friends have pointed out the irony of our having a number of copies – a few are always out on loan. I joke that waving this book around a room can have powerful effects…

I enjoy clutter clearing for the clarity it brings to my life and to our home; clutter clearing brings me up to date with myself and helps my life to flow.

What is clutter? Clutter is the stuff you no longer like or need; stuff that is broken or jammed into small spaces; things that are no longer earning their keep and could be useful to someone else; things that lower your energy if you look at them or think of them.

Clutter Clearing Bonuses

*When you are surrounded by things you enjoy and appreciate, you feel uplifted and supported; life feels good. There’s more room for laughter!

*Abundance – often what you are passing on is exactly what someone else needs – generosity gives a sense of abundance and creates space for you to receive.

*Clearing clutter is a great way to create movement and growth and to signal a new beginning. You are saying “I’m ready!”

*Life works: picture your home as a stream, when clutter (rubbish in the stream) is moved, the stream flows freely.

Clutter clearing questions

*Do you love it?

*Do you use it on a regular basis?

*Does it lift your energy when you look at it or think about it?

Even when the answer to all three questions is ‘yes’, you may still be ready to say goodbye. You may be moving to a new home, traveling or moving into a new part of your life.

*The final question could be: Is this part of my journey?

Clutter Meter

You may like to do regular ‘energy tests’ on your belongings. Ask: “Is my energy on this up or down?”

When the answer is ‘down’ there may be a murky, burdened feeling – it can be quite subtle. The ‘up’ feeling for me is a clear ‘Yes’; a lift in my emotional step.

You will have your own way of knowing, sensing or feeling what needs to stay with you and what needs to go. With practice this gets clearer and easier.

I’ve learned that feeling unsure or ‘I should keep this because…’ is usually a disguised or justified ‘time for this to go’.

I’ve learned to trust this ‘middling’ meter reading. It feels better to let the item go and enjoy the space this creates.

Creating space for laughter..

Every now and then I look at what I own and move things along…when things feel cluttery, when I’m in a time of change or growth or if I need a lift in any area of my life.

It’s fun to create space for the new and pass things on to where they can be used and appreciated. I enjoy the lightness in my home and in my life; our home is comfortable, friendly and welcoming (I’m a soft minimalist) and yes, there’s lots of laughter…

Happy clutter clearing!

Compassionate Creative Coaching for Clutter Clearing (Brought to you by the letter ‘C’)

If you would like support with clutter clearing I’m delighted to help.

I’m a New Zealand based life coach with a back ground in writing and the arts – and a long and satisfying relationship with clutter clearing. I trained with Anne Hartley of Hart Life Coaching: http://www.hartlifecoaching.com.au/

Coaching is available by phone, worldwide.

You are welcome to contact me for a free introductory coaching session

sue@flourishing.net.nz

Nourishing YOU by Sue Matthew – Life Coach

You are here to love and be loved; to celebrate and share, to express your talents and gifts: to flourish.

To grow and flourish we take loving care of ourselves, we pay attention to what we need. It sounds simple; sometimes we need reminders (‘four treats a day’ says a very good friend). This is like putting buckets of compost on the garden: when you nourish yourself, your life blooms.

Start giving yourself permission to have needs and to meet your needs. (When I first heard something like this I let out a big sigh of relief.) Care for yourself in a way that helps you blossom and be all you can be.

Check in with yourself regularly: How am I doing? Is anything missing? Is there anything I need to let go of? What do I need?

What makes you happy? Write a list, mind map or draw colours and shapes..

Find out what you enjoy and appreciate. Be generous with yourself. Your list is allowed to get really, really long. What lifts your spirits and helps you feel topped up? Remind yourself to include these in your life regularly (daily or weekly or monthly).

Body care

Is it time for you to visit your dentist? Do you need a cervical smear, mole check or overall health check? Are you getting enough exercise? Does your food nourish you?

True colours

Are you wearing colours that are uplifting for you ? Ask a family member of friend ‘does this call me out or shout me down?’ When you wear the wrong colours people see your clothes (‘nice shirt’) , when you wear the colours that a great for you people see you (‘you’re looking great’).

Stuff… Do you surround yourself with uplifting things? Is your underwear comfortable? (Yes this makes a difference!) Is your home and car clutter free? Are you doing what you love and spending time with the people you love? Is there enough solitude in your life?

Be kind to yourself. If there are gaps, find ways to meet your needs. Make the appointment, start clutter clearing a drawer, go for a walk.

Life coaching. Working with a life coach is a gift to you; the gift of listening, support, focus and attention on you and your life.

Compassionate Creative Coaching

Life coaching supports positive self care in ways that are gentle, practical and encouraging. Coaching with someone who champions and encourages your flourishing is a nourishing gift to yourself.

If you are interested in having a chat about life coaching or would like to benefit from a free introductory session, please contact me; I’d love to hear from you.

Sue Matthew    sue@flourishing.net.nz

Sue Matthew

All the best for your nourishing self care.

- Sue