Kindness - by Sue Matthew – Life Coach
Acts of kindness can make a difference in ways we may never know…
When I was 17 and traveling, an older woman who I had just met gave me a wonderful gift. She shared with me about a past relationship, celebrating how beautiful it was for her to love and be loved. I was moved by her trust in me and I still think of this, over 30 years later. As a young person piecing myself together, her kindness and trust held a mirror to me of who I could be.
Kindness is one of my favorite things, one of my highest values. When I choose to be kind and gentle I’m living my values; it’s like a muscle or a habit, the more I exercise being kind, the easier it is to be kind. I am not always kind; as a human being I need reminders; ‘please be kind’ on street signs! When I forget to be kind, my road map is to remind myself to be kind with myself as I come back ‘home’ to my values.
From 17 and piecing myself together, fast forward 20 years to a railway platform and a tearful woman is cradling an empty cage. She tells me she is going home to an empty house after having her elderly cat ‘put down’. We talk until the train arrives. The conductor jokes ‘lost your cat?’ and she turns away, wordless and hurting.
My son and I have a saying about people who appear brittle, angry, affronted: “maybe their cat died”. It’s a reminder to be kind even when we don’t understand the behavior; a reminder to be kind to ourselves. We are all tender human beings; we all have days when we feel as though our cat has died.
Nourishing everyday rituals. For many years I’ve started my day with my hand gently over my heart – saying ‘I love myself’. A year or so ago I added ‘Thank you’ when I put my feet on the floor.
What helps you to be kind? If you’re strongly visual, is there a favorite image that reminds you to be kind to yourself? If auditory, is music the key for you to be gentle with yourself? If you are tactile and kinaesthetic – soft fabrics and moisturisers can be affirming and nourishing ways to fill your kindness cup.
An everyday practical object can become a symbol of kindness; a nice hairbrush or soap, a key ring or piece of jewelery can all act as a symbolic reminders to be kind and loving to yourself.
Cultivating kindness is a fine art of many layers. A filo pastry of the heart. We start being kind with ourselves and we find we can be kinder to others. We start being kind to others and we come to know ourselves as kind and loving people.
Human Beings Ahead..Please Be Kind…As I write this I’m reminded – to drink a cup of kindness and to pass it on…
